Daveswordsofwisdom.com: Remember the five simple rules to being happy

Daveswordsofwisdom.com: Remember the five simple rules to being happy: This story is so inspiring ~ I hope you will pass it on The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each mo...

Daveswordsofwisdom.com: Remember the five simple rules to being happy

Daveswordsofwisdom.com: Remember the five simple rules to being happy: This story is so inspiring ~ I hope you will pass it on The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each mo...

The incredibly, undeniable, insignficant life of L: "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees ...

The incredibly, undeniable, insignficant life of L: "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees ...: Who defines what is beautiful? To me, a lot of different things are beautiful to me. The beach at night time, or the country lands at dawn....

1glasslipper: 25 Valentine's Day- LOVE Quotes

1glasslipper: 25 Valentine's Day- LOVE Quotes: "Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life." -Aphra Behn "You know you're in love when you can't fall ...

~ The Feathered Nest ~: A giveaway to celebrate SIX years of blogging!!!

~ The Feathered Nest ~: A giveaway to celebrate SIX years of blogging!!!

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for* believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist Hospital in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? Just "do it".

Random acts of kindness, I think they call it?

"Believe in Angels, then return the favor."

Double End chaise lounge...

Double End chaise lounge...: Double End chaise lounge...

Twitpic - Share photos and videos on Twitter

Twitpic - Share photos and videos on Twitter

How to have a #lovely day:

How to have a #lovely day:: How to have a #lovely day:

Dandylion Fancy: New Years Goals

Dandylion Fancy: New Years Goals: "If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter which road you take."

Cast your burden...

Everyone needs a bit of encouragement from time to time. Thankfully we have the Bible as our ultimate source of encouraging words! Even in the midst of the financial mess that we are in the middle of, we can remain hopeful and encouraged if we keep trusting in God.

I have found that the key is to finding specific bible verses and meditating on them. According to the Word, this is how faith comes. The more we soak up the truth of God’s Word, the more assured we become that He really is going to take care of us!

I know some people whose lives have been dramatically affected by this and I think as it progresses we will all know people who will go through struggles as a result. The important thing to remember in the midst of the chaos is that God is in control. He is not surprised by the events and He is not unsure how He is going to take care of his children. We are just as safe putting our trust in Him when things are going great as when it looks like everything is falling around us.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:19

Notice the above verse says “ALL.” It doesn’t say “some” or “most,” but it says that He will meet all of our needs. It doesn’t say how He will meet our needs and I have found from experience the way He does it is often not what I expected. But the bottom line is that God is faithful and He does what He promises.

• “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”John 16:33

• God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3,7

• ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

• For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Tim 1:7 (AMP)

• I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Psalm 16:8 (AMP)

• Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail). Psalm 55:22 (AMP)

• He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved. Psalm 62:6 (AMP)

• Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)

• The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of, and understands) those who take refuge and trust in Him. Nahum 1:7 (AMP)

• “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Letting Go...

''Letting go doesn't mean we don't care.  Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.  Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.  It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.  It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means taking care of ourselves.  And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.     ''    -Melody Beattie

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore.  It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. 

Letting go isn't about winning or losing.  It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. 

Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness.  It's not about giving in or giving up. 

Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat.  To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on.  It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. 

Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing.  To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow.  It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain.

  Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.  Letting go is growing up.  It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. 

To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.        

Leonard Jacobson. 

Don't tell me...

Don't tell me that you really need me,

and I am the best you have ever found,

because if you really did need me,

You at least would have come around.

Don't talk to me on the phone,

Saying words I really want to hear,

giving me more lame excuses,

why you can't be with me here.

Do not tell me you love me,

and how much you really care,

and when I really need you,

I can not find you anywhere.

Your actions speak louder than words,

and for all your prissy talk,

It just don't mean a thing to me,

if you can not walk the walk.

Because it's not what you would say,

as much as what you would do

So if you can't understand that,

I'll just find somebody new.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of

meeting

your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled

and closed

from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain,

mine

or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own;

if you can dance with wildness and

let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without

cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being a human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;

if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I

want to know if you can see beauty even if it’s not pretty every day,

and if you can source your life from God’s presence. I want to know if you can live

with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a

lake and shout to the silver moon, ‘Yes!’

It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,

weary, bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls

away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer,

Native American Elder, May 1994

Senior Life....

SUPERSEX  

A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say “Supersex.”

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex.”

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I’ll take the soup.”

ROMANCE  

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting..”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me…”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my Neck…”

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked..

“To get my teeth!”

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,”Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!”

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?”

Bessie thinks a minute and says, “Close enough.”

OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me… I know we’ve been friends for a long time but I just can’t think of your name.. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”

Her friend glared at her.

For at least three minutes she just stared at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the road, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, ” Vernon , I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on F3. Please be careful!”

“Hell,” said Vernon , “It’s not just one car… it’s hundreds of them!”

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car – both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh! Am I driving?”

THE WINDOW

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running.

In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence-deathly silence.

The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away-no words, no fuss.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed ... ..........It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue . . .
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.

By: Dev Kaushal

“Picasso said, ‘There are only two types of women – goddesses and doormats.’ You, my dear, are a goddess.”

1. She is confident and self-assured. What is confidence? As far as I see it, confidence is derived from knowing who you are and being comfortable in your own skin. It comes from believing in yourself and in your capabilities. It is NOT arrogance. No way. In fact, truly confident people are humble and gracious. They don’t need to flaunt themselves for other’s approval and attention. They listen more than they talk and they enjoy giving compliments more than receiving them. How you dress, carry yourself, and converse all demonstrate your level of confidence. It’s no surprise guys are very quick to pick up on this. When a man meets a confident woman, her value in his eyes instantly rises.

2. She is strong and independent. A goddess doesn’t let life live her, but instead she lives her own life. She has goals, dreams, and aspirations separate from her love life. In fact, she would never entertain the thought of giving herself up just to be with a man. Catching and keeping him isn’t the end all be all of her existence and she won’t “melt” into a guy, trying to be who and what she thinks he wants. It is perfectly wonderful to want, and even need, a man. But to compliment you, not to complete you.
3. She is emotionally stable. I recently read a fascinating article. It stated that most men have a deep need to be loved by a woman who is emotionally tough and dependable. When I think of a goddess, I think of a woman who is in control of her emotions. She doesn’t fall apart, break down, or throw fits if things don’t go her way. She doesn’t become a wreck over the little things and her world doesn’t revolve around never-ending drama. A goddess would never expect a man to act as her therapist. (Ever!) After all, that’s what girlfriends are for, right?
4. She is optimistic. A goddess has a sense of humor. She can joke around, see the “good” in nearly every circumstance, and enjoys life. She is not bitter and does not allow resentment to take a hold of her. She is fun and has the ability to laugh with others and at herself. A goddess is happy with her life and with her place in the world. As a result, others are drawn to her and her energy is contagious.
5. She takes care of her appearance. A goddess knows that when she looks good, she feels good. Her health and well-being are important to her. She is well groomed and dresses appropriately for the situation, without trying too hard to be noticed. As Coco Chanel said, “Dress shabbily and they remember the dress. Dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” It’s important not to go to extremes, however. A woman’s attractiveness is not determined by her daily caloric intake or by sporting a four figure handbag. Although high heels and mascara are not foreign concepts to her, a real goddess knows that true beauty starts within.
6. She won’t chase a man. Can you imagine a goddess throwing herself at a man or working overtime to impress him? I sure can’t. But how often do we women act like this? We’ll initiate all contact. We’ll “accidentally” run into him. Heck, we’ll bake him cupcakes and deliver them to his office after the first date. We might as well jump up and down while holding a sign that says “Pick Me!!” A goddess wouldn’t do this. Instead, she lets men come to her and show her their level of interest. She allows a man to pursue, to court, to woo; thereby encouraging him to step up and be a man.
7. She does not accept disrespect. Boundaries are a good thing. There is nothing wrong with knowing how you want and deserve to be treated. A goddess doesn’t allow a man to throw her scraps and then try to convince her it’s an entrée. When she is treated in an unacceptable manner, she has the strength to stand up for herself; even if it means walking away.
8. She is not easily attained. A goddess knows her worth. She doesn’t give off the “I’m desperate for a man! Any man will do!” vibe. Instead, she occupies herself with the business of her. She walks with pride through her own life and carefully analyzes those men who catch up to her. She is the picker. She is the chooser. And she strives to choose wisely. As a result, the man who wins her heart also believes he has won an incredible woman. To paraphrase the famous dating quote: PLAYING hard to get is ridiculous. BEING hard to get is marvelous.
9. She is feminine. It is entirely possible to be a CEO, a professional athlete, or have an A-cup and still be undeniably feminine. Femininity doesn’t mean acting like a little girl, a weakling, or an airhead. Not even close. Nor do you have to forgo jeans and baseball caps or the ability to hang with the guys. Being feminine is about embracing yourself as a woman. It’s about being charming and gracious. It’s about radiating warmth and openness. The vast majority of men are instinctively drawn to “femininity.” At the end of the day, they want a woman who is a lady.
10. She prizes her sexuality. A goddess is neither prudish nor promiscuous. Although she enjoys sex and physical intimacy, she realizes that it is a valuable gift and doesn’t allow herself to be used or treated carelessly. She won’t dress overly provocatively or flaunt her “sex-ploits” on a date. She waits before consummating relationships and is trustworthy in matters of fidelity. The goddess views sex as “special” and she encourages her man to treat her like a “special” woman.

I Feel Your Pain...

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in ... favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

Dreams are Whispers From the Soul Movie

Dreams are Whispers From the Soul Movie: There are many different aspects that live inside of us and two of them have respectfully been dubbed the Dreamer and Doubter. When it comes to pursuing your dreams, The Dreamer is often gung ho while the Doubter can provide a laundry list of concerns and issues. Your movie today will inspire you to find your purpose and passion in life while you strive to live your dreams.

Bits of Truth... all quotes: .01707

Bits of Truth... all quotes: .01707

Remembrance of September 11th

 

"Those who believe in God know that evil and death do not have the final say." -Pope John Paul II "The city is going to survive, we are going to get through it, It's going to be very, very difficult time. I don't think we yet know the pain that we're going to feel when we find out who we lost, but the thing we have to focus on now is getting this city through this, and surviving and being stronger for it." - Rudolph Giuliani, Mayor of New York City "World trade means world peace and consequently the World Trade Center buildings in New York ... had a bigger purpose than just to provide room for tenants. The World Trade Center is a living symbol of man's dedication to world peace ... beyond the compelling need to make this a monument to world peace, the World Trade Center should, because of its importance, become a representation of man's belief in humanity, his need for individual dignity, his beliefs in the cooperation of men, and through cooperation, his ability to find greatness."  - Minoru Yamasaki, chief architect of the World Trade Center "America has its faults as a society, as we have ours. But I think of the Union of America born out of the defeat of slavery.  I think of its Constitution, with its inalienable rights granted to every citizen still a model for the world. I think of a black man, born in poverty, who became chief of their armed forces and is now secretary of state Colin Powell and I wonder frankly whether such a thing could have happened here.  I think of the Statue of Liberty and how many refugees, migrants and the impoverished passed its light and felt that if not for them, for their children, a new world could indeed be theirs.  I think of a country where people who do well, don't have questions asked about their accent, their class, their beginnings but have admiration for what they have done and the success they've achieved.  I think of those New Yorkers I met, still in shock, but resolute; the fire fighters and police, mourning their comrades but still head held high." -Prime Minister Tony Blair  "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou are't with me." -Psalm 23 "Out of the depths of sorrow and sacrifice will be born again the glory of mankind." - Prime Minister Winston Churchill "Atrocity and terror are not political weapons, and to those who would use them -their day is over. We will never negotiate, we will not tolerate it, and we will not be afraid....its your turn to be afraid."  - Actor Harrison Ford as President James Marshall in movie "Air Force One" "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." -Matthew 5:3  "The future does not belong to the faint-hearted, it belongs to the brave." -President Ronald Reagan "Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight, Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and  be gay,  Rage, rage against the dying of the light. " -Dylan Thomas "And surely I am with you always even unto the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

"paraprosdokian"

I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a paraprosdokian.

Ok, so now enjoy!

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.